Accomplishing goals

As I try and discover and rediscover myself and my dreams, my strengths, my gifts,  my purpose. I'm going to do the I do as a child that brought me joy. Today's goal,  "draw something"

Today

As i get ready to settle in for the night, and i reflect of the day. I accomplished my first day with a limited amount od sugar,  that was basically all fruit and a beautiful salad of fresh raw vegetables.  And i washed it all down with mango andnginger water.
I, however,  have been dealing with alot of pain in my foot. The pain seems to be located in the joint where my big toe connects to my foot. I'm wondering if its a acromegaly thing being that its a joint and i honesty didn't do anything to cause it.
I am alittle worried because i am trying to get a new job, and this job depends alot on me being able to run and work out and as of right now, i really can't do so.
But,  I'm going to remain positive and remember that something wonderful is going to happen to me soon. I just have to think positively and keep working at it.

Finding my purpose

Often, I sit around and think of the decisions I've made throughout my life and how they have effected where I am today and how those decisions are the soul reason why I am where I am today.  I chose this!  It's a bit confusing and a bit disheartening at the same time. On one hand I have a beautiful fiance and daughter, that I wouldn't change for the world. I feel as though there are ment to be part of my life, and my life up to now was preparation for my fiance and daughter. Then on the other I have no clue on my life's Mission or purpose,  I don't know how to look or where to begin to find it! I pray about it everyday, but I can't help but think that maybe I'm praying the wrong way or that there's something in my current state of life that I need to learn first. I wish I knew.
I'm currently reading a book called, "the purpose driven life," because i heardnwonderful things about it and it also was sugested to me as a way to find the answers I'm looking for. Todays chapter was centered around how you see your life and how you see your life can say alot about you, and then it went on to say how the bible says that life is a test. It reminded me of my childhood, we didn't have awhole lot, in fact we were poor. But my mother made the most of it. My step father became a crack head and it made it worse, being that the little we did have, he would sale to by crack. But during those times, I use to tell my self that god was using this life to test me, and to prepare me for my future,  God was making it hard for me now, so that in the future I would be able to appreciate what was in store for me. I think I lost that, I think I need to rediscover that mentality.  

Melon explosion my breakfast this morning

Feeling some kind of way

It's been awhile since I last posted anything. I've been enjoying my new baby girl and trying to change my life at the same time. Realizing that it's pretty difficult to change things and mostly on the part of others. It the other people who seem to trip you up and place road blocks in your path to what it is you desire. Yes, I do have fault in my own life, and I often sit and think. .. if only would have done this instead of this.... or, if I would've known.... or if I would have made my mind up along time ago to do this..... and then I think of what someone told me, there is no such thing as a could've, would've,  should've.  If so, that's what would've,  could've, and should've happened. And it's my job to take those events of my life and put them in order,  and try and make send of them.
And so looking back upon my life I'm realizing that it all was preparation for now, today,  and the wonderful life that is presented to me. And that I am, not just blessed,  but I'm honored to have a wonderful finance and a extremely beautiful baby. And I should not squander another moment of life with missed opportunities.

My Genesis; My birth

In the beginning,  a score and 15 years ago, on the 17Th day of the third month. In the year of 1978, in phoenix, AZ where the days are scorching and the nights are just as hot, and thermometers read 110 degrees of dry head that will beat you into a state fatigue. From my understanding, My life almost ended several times before it began, and on the day of my conception once again it was in jeopardy. I remember a story of on day my father beating my mother with a tire iron, and she having to be hospitalized with all her fingers broken for protecting her pregnant belly.
This day much like any other day, in the spring of the phoenix metro area, the sun peaked its head from behind the surrounding mountain ranges. In all its might shinning upon our small suburban neighbourhood, as the heat began to release the water from a state of condensation back to vapors, and the fragrance of morning dew filled the air, while the sound of chirping birds were everywhere. The world slowly began to wake up and start moving, you heard the starting of car engines as people were leaving their homes to go to their jobs.
My mother, who had been sent home from the hospital the night before, because she had not dilated fully yet, and labored for 24 hours, she was told to go home, eat and take medicine prescribe by her doctor. On this bright sunny day, as my mother laid in her home with the sensations of illness that crept up inside her while experiencing  the titillation of pain. Unable to enjoy the beauty of the day, layed my mother feeling gloomy and under the weather. As a few clouds appeared in distances of the sky, and the temperature seem to drop a few degrees. A light breezes could be felt, as the sound of bird chirping began to dissipate as time went on. Her mood seemed to mirror the complexity of the sky as she fall ever so slightly in the sensation of pain and the storm began to manifest inside her. The world slowly began to darken, and  the skies hue became gray. Each cloud formation began to grow in size and large enough that the sun would hide behind them for sort periods at a time, and while the sun went into hiding, the temperture would drop and the light breezes became gust of wind. My mother not feeling well and with a since of impending dom, she went to see the doctor, the strange and confusing feelings she was experiencing was that of me growing ill and suffocating inside her, her doctor rushed her to surgery. By this time the pain turn to torment and her cries rang out, beckoning the storm. With each cry came the crack of thunder and the winds at full strength pull trees out of the ground by their roots and the rest of the city sought refuge and shelter inside. With each explosion of thunder,  the ground shook and the windows vibate. The lightening danced across the sky. “Ohh God!” my my mother shouted, she felt the pain of death, as my little fingers begsn to weaken and I began to loose my grip on life. The nurses and doctors tried to comfort her and assure that everything will be alright. While frantically prepping her for surgery. The roar of the thunder echo out as the each sound of thunder became more frequent, and seemed to be getting closer. The surgical lights refracted of the cold surgical steel of the scalpel, and like the lightening that struck the earth’s surface, the gleam of blue as the cold surgical steel opened my mother's belly.and the flood gates of heaven open and out poured the rain, and the vibration of each drop colliding with the ground sounded like hand claps as the world applauded the arrival of a new child.
  I like to say that I came into this world with a storm, as my mother tells me the story of how it was a beautiful day when she went to the hospital, and when she came to after the surgery, the city was in shambles, because of the storm of 78, that destroyed the city.

I need to get it together

As I sit here, thinking of the task ahead of me. The dreading of feeling the needle piercing my skin, and the sharp pain as I push the medicine into my flesh. and upon pulling the one of the largest needle you'll ever see out of my skin I can feel and see my flesh cling to the needle,  followed by a small gush of blood. Followed by the lack of ambition and all I want to do is go and lay down somewhere. I have neglected to take my Acromegaly Medicine for a few months now. I have the medicine in my bag as I keep thinking of the process, in my mind I think that I have to go take this medicine, but then it's immediately followed by the the thought. 
This medicine is very important as far a health is concerned, and I know this, as I feel slight chest pain. In fact, I allowed my health conscientious to waver. I haven't been eating as well as I should and I haven't been drinking water as I should. I really need to get it back together. Ok, I'm off to take this medicine now, I have to get it together.