Shrek Has Acromegaly

So.... I had this thought... Well, as you may not know. I spend a lot of time reading up on Acromegaly, and trying to find some new information, and some answers. I sometime look at other people and wonder if they have it, and now I think that a lot of the characters I watched as a kid and most recently on TV have Acromegaly. I also, notice that I have a love for the characters who, are really big and at a first glance seem menacing and terrifying, but once you get to know them, you find that they are gentle and overall good hearted. Character such as Frankenstein, Mighty Joe Young, Lurch from the Adams family. 

This thought, began with Shrek actually. As I look at him and His large stature,. He has all the physical characteristic of Acromegaly..  Which made me think, "Shrek has Acromegaly!" Now, I could be wrong, but bear with me for a minute, and hopefully you'll began to understand why I even began this train of thought.

Living in a world where you look like no one, you have hard any examples to base your existence on. I always took to fantasy and in the back of my mind felt that I was something for a fair tale or and folk lore. I often wonder if after I'm gone will there be story of me and things that I did, and will it become folk lore. And then, I thought if I live in those days. and I who I am now, would most likely one of two people. I could've been the mighty hunter, the guy who goes into the forest and bring the village 50 elk, and or the kills the Lion who has been terrifying the village for days. Or I might've scared the average man, so much so, that I might've been forced to live in the wilderness, alone. There, I would be know as an Ogre. Back then, there was no treatment for Acromegaly, so I would've developed the characteristic of the disease much quickly than now, because there's was no treatment, they how no clue what it was. So, adding to the physical characteristics that I already have, I would also,  have an even wider chin and jaw and tongue, wide fingers and toe, excessive weight gain for no reason, even larger hands and feet, larger bones in the face causing deformities, excessive sweating, and body order. Doesn't that sound like Shrek, or better yet an Ogre. I would become and outcast, I would, most likely live in the woods or a swamp, and because of all this, I would become grouchy, and mean cause no one wants me. My hygiene would be even worst, cause I'm basically camping out for the rest of my life. And people would think its cool to go see the ogre, and that would definitely piss me of so, I would run them off and eventually resort to terrifying people in attempt to keep them away. Legends would build and I would become the Terrifying Ogre, who, eats people and would ever else peoples imagination could muster up. I know it may sound silly, I was just thinking about it and thought I should share it with you!

A convo with my elders

So often, when you have a condition as I have, it becomes easy to focus on the negative and not take notice to the positive. Every little ache or headache can easily become magnified. And frustration can creep upon you quickly.  I have not been feeling well these past two weeks, and when I sat down to write you tonight, I struggle not to say anything negative. But, today I had to much needed and special conversations today. I went to the gym and not feeling well, I struggled to complete my workout. I wanted to quick and just go home. I told my self that I had to finish no matter what. as a matter of fact, and old Jerry West Quote popped into my head, "if you only work hard on the days you feel good, you will not be successful. So, I gathered all I can mustar and finished it. As I was in the locker room, getting to dressed to leave, I was fortunate to have gotten swepted into a conversation, by two older gentlemen. Now, the Trayvon Martin case in still fresh in the minds of a lot of people. And these two brothas where having a conversation about that along with the life and time and the conditions throughout those times that the black man has faced. And I hate to loose you, by bringing up this topic, but from that conversation, and the presents of these men I felt not alone. To break it down, and to provide you with a visual of the seen. there was two men, one of which was in his 70's and the other in his 50's. and these brotha's where talking about that the Trayvon Martin case brought up memories from their childhood. the 70 year old man was from Boston, and talked about it from the perspective of living in one of the first intergrated places on the u.s soil. and seeing troops marching up and down his streets, and blacks living in one neighborhood and whites in another. The man in his 50's was from the L.A. and called account to all the riots and the the military marching his streets as well. He also, talked about the demise of the Black Panther Party, and the original purpose of the crips gang, and void in America for black men due to that. Then there was I, in my 30's reluctant to say anything cause for so long I've been made to feel as if the struggle I faced as a black man in my time frame eould not compare to these brotha's lives. Both of there stories where so... I can't think of words to describe,  and we they asked me of my childhood,  I began with the disclaimer, "I didn't have it as hard as you two. " Both of them said thing haven't really changed for black men and young black men.

I'm back

Today was a good day, I woke up and made myself and my girlfriend some breakfast. I took my medication and vitamins, and did my pushup and situps. I made it to work on time and had a smile on my face too.I contacted an academic counselor about enrolling in school and got some answers to my question, and tomorrow I will have even more. I also, got to see my artwork for these t-shirts I'm making as the start to my business. I even wrote a small post in my journal and writing a small post to my blog. The one thing I didn't do, was go to the gym. So, that will be something I have to make sure I do tomorrow
It was a good day, and thats alll I want to have, and i know its a mind state, and if I 
'm happy and focus on good things in my mind it transition to my physical life... Looking for more good days to come.
_salute!

well, today was and OK day. I got to sleep in today which is always nice, and then I took my medications and vitamins. I when to the optical office to get my glasses fixed and went to my other doctors appointments. I first went to the lab to do a sperm analysis, and when I got to the front desk, there was a pretty girl and I saw her and chickened out. Which I know is silly, I have a girlfriend, who I love very much, so I shouldn't be concerned with that.  But, for some reason I thought about her and anyone knowing what I was doing as embarrassing and I quickly made my exit. I then went to my appointment with my Endocrinologist, and I got to talk to him bit. I explain to him how I felt about my condition, and how I felt about being different. He tried to make me feel better about everything by telling me that, because of my condition, I have the ability to get big and strong, and my size has alot of advantages in life, like sports. He also ask if I had a significant other, and I replied "yes" and he toldme, "see, everything is ok1" and I thought, yeah, I am unique and have been unique all my life. And this confirm it.

So, tomorrow I have an appointment with my Endocrinologist. I'm going to find out how I'm doing, and if my Acromegaly is progressing or if it's in a place of remission. I mean, I feel great... I haven't felt sick, or any aches or pains. I have been having a slight headache from time to time, and  little hoarseness lately. My voice sometime is really deep, which is kinda cool, except that I know its part of the side effects. I do want to ask him some questions, some things I've been struggling with. Like, for example, I'm part of this group Acromegaly community, This is supposed to be an support group for people like me, people with Acromegaly. Yet, most of the people I see don't look like me, they don't look as big as me. And then they have a store, where you can buy clothing with the Acromegaly community writing on it. But, none of it fits me, I thought I found somewhere, where I fit in, finally! But, I still don't fit in, the very place where I should, doesn't even Accommodate me. It brought me back to how I felt all my life, I just want to know if I'm that big, if there's something that makes me different from the rest, and why?
Then later I have to go to the sperm bank and do a Sperm analysis, I need to have my sperm count checked and my fertility, because this condition can effect whether or not I am able to have children, and I need to know for sure. My girlfriend didn't want me to write about this, But, I feel I need to get this off my chest, being that I have no one to talk to, and I have no friend who take interest in anything I say or do anyway. This is my outlet, and if I dont say anything, I'm allowing myself to be cut short, and my growth stunted. Especially, dealing with the thing that I have to deal with on a day to day basis.

My life

Today has started off as a good day so far. I woke up, made breakfast for me and my girl,  some eggs with a big glass of Orange juice. I took my medication and vitamins and loaded my ipod with this new album from an artist name Planet VI, the album is loaded with positive messages. It's playing through my headphones, like a soundtrack to my life. I went to my doctors visit, and it went great! Things are looking good and he made me feel good about life and my situation. Being that I have Acromegaly, there's many complications I have to be aware of. And my health has to be major focus in my life, and because I'm taking that part of my life serious, my doctor says I'm going to be ok. After my doctors visit, I get on the bus a head to work, the sun is out, shining bright, its a beautiful day. It a good day.  I take my time, and try to notice the beauty around me. I am reminded of a conversation, where the observation was, that there isn't any ugly people anymore... And I made the comment that all people have something beautiful about them. As I watched the people entering and exiting the set, and variety of looks and persona's. I then began thinking about life and what to do with it, and being in such a good mood, and my attitude is good, as well, I'm not ready to let anyone change that. Instead, I want to ride it out, plan to continue feeling this way.

So, its been a week since my last doctor's visit. He changed my blood pressure medication, because one would keep me up throughout the night, as I had to constantly go to the bathroom.  And I've noticed, since then, I've gained around 20 pounds, and felt bloated.and I'm having these headaches. The weight gain was so sudden, and I couldn't explain it to people, but I noticed it right away. I thought that I was losing my mind,  and come  to find out, that I have gained weight due to water retention. And the headaches, are orthosatic in nature. They come when change position, from sitting to standing, when bending over, and from behind the eyes.  Sometimes, it feels ,as if, someone stabbed me in my eye. I, also, have been getting really tired lately. And feeling really run down. My endocrinologist says that, since I been on the medication, symptoms should have stop. But, I don't know what is what. I don't know what symptoms are the acromegaly, and what's the medication, or what's is just everyday. I don't think I have it as bad as most people I've ready with acromegaly, so I can't complain to much, but, I know there's something going on .