I was a super hero

I remember as a kid, I had a big imagination which allowed me to escape from the harsh realities of the real world at times. And as a kid I often dreamt of being a super hero, and often thought to myself that life was harsh because it was part of my journey to becoming a super hero and discovering my super powers. That was my justification, and rationalization for the way my world was. My mother caught on early, and used my childhood obsession to her advantage to get me to be a good kid. She would associate each vegetable with a super heroes powers, like eat your spinach so you'll be strong like the hulk, eat your carrots so you'll be able to see through walls like superman, things like that. I could remember wearing my superman under Roo's and tying a towel around my neck to make a cape, running around the house, jumping off the couches and pretending I could fly. My mom gave me my out super hero name then, it was "Ant-Man." As I got older I got bigger which perpetuated my super hero theory and by the time I was in six grade I was 6 ft and probably about 150lbs. I was bigger, stronger, and faster than all the other kids I knew. And I had created a story of where I came from, You see at this time in my life, I wasn't from earth, I was from a small planet named Lovetron. I created this story of how my planet was in turmoil, and was near destruction. And I the next to sit on the throne and rule my people, was of great importance. So, right before my planet was destroyed, my mother and father put me into a capsule and sent me plummeting through space, where I came to earth and landed in the hood, in my earth mothers back yard. I was just a baby the and she took me in a raised me as her own, she was the only mother I knew until I discover my true identity. And I would live amongst the human race as their guardian. Does thus story sound familiar? I admit I have some influence for the story, and as my life grew so did my story. It's fun to dream....

Here we go again

Lately, I've been feeling bad all over again, and with a laundry list of bad feeling sometimes I rather keep to myself, as I feel that I will become the person that is constantly all gloom and doom. But everything I read says that its better to clear the air, and get your feeling out instead of bottling them, so here I go. The first is feeling tired and sometimes I get so sleepy that there's nothing that can keep me from falling asleep. And I get plenty of rest, at least I feel like it. But, in the middle of the day I get so sleepy and struggle with staying awake. I also, seem to get tired faster why playing basketball, I hope that it's just my need to maybe work out more, but I wonder being that in the pool my wind is not the same as well. I use to be able to swim the length of the pool down and back without taking a breathe, and now I can only go half way and i have to come up for air.
The pain in my hips, knee's, and ankle have came back, But, there's also the sharp stabbing pain in my feet, and sometimes the feeling of losing circulation in my feel and the need to take my shoes off. Sometimes, I get sick to my stomach and I have this headaches that come and go, and oily, sweaty skin, it kinda annoying. Throughout the day I feel the need to wash my face several times to make me feel better. Then there's the facial hair, it grows at a ridiculous rate. I have to do a lot more grooming these days. More than I ever had to do in the past. and last night, I had this pain in my chest that scared me and almost brought tears to my eyes. at that moment I could he my doctor telling how he is worried that I may die from a heart attack on day. I would tell someone, but worried about what they may tell me, or the attention it may bring. I checked my blood pressure and it's kinda high one day, and then the next day it normal.
Then there's my Endocrinologist who just told me that he'll be leaving and he is referring my to another Dr.Which makes everything a little more scary, because I don't know this man, and I don't know what kind of effort he'll put forth for me. And you see I told him of how I was feeling and he explained that its the growth hormone that it causing it, and he had me do some blood tet to see where my levels were in case he had to adjust my medications before he left, and did not her from him, I tried calling all I wanted was to her something. I heard from his assistant, and she told me that everything seems to be ok. So, I asked her what does that mean and she said that my Growth hormone is a little high, but it should be OK. Now, I'm trying not to blow anything out of proportion, and just explain it the way it was given to me. So, from my understanding high, a little high is the same thing and not good. but, I'm not the doctor so, maybe I don't know and she not a doctor either, so what does that say about he info. But, she good and her attentions are good to, so let me not make it seem like she doesn't know what she talking aboout.
Maybe I'm just over reacting.....

Today I went to play basketball with some old friends I haven't seen in a while, it was a blast though. The group of people we played with, were great, they just wanted to play ball. The games were competitive, and fun. They wasn't any complaining or fighting which seems to be the norm in most gym's.
I of course was the biggest person on the court, and they all let it be known. But, it was all in fun. There was a lot of smiles and laughyer. I did, however, feel tired out there and I work out enough where I shouldn't. And lately I been noticing at the gym that it seems that I'm not getting in better shape no matter how hard I work. And that I have these days when I feel so tired, and there's almost nothing I can do to keep from falling asleep. But, I don't want to let that stop me. Cause, I don't know when I won't be able to play any more.

When I first began this....

<p>When I first began this blog, I did not intend to share it with anyone. It was meant to help me understand&amp;#160; plus deal with a drastic life changing event, and to help me cope with it. So, in the beginning I began to write really personal things, and then, I began feeling... I have to be comfortable with it all, "this is my life," I thought to myself. The constant doctor visits, blood draws, MRI's, the pain, and uncomfortability. My daily routine of medication, and changing of my diet, and workout habits. Many of these changes, however, made me feel better about myself, and gave me clarity of the mind, being that its no longer clouded with the junk that I was putting in my body. So I decided to share with the world. The good and the bad. Now, I'm not going to lie, I was fearful of the response. I was putting myself out there, with no reservations. <br>
So, initially the attention I got was great. So many people responded and gave me such great feedback, and I began to want to have more and more people to continue to read it, and effect them in the same way. All that attention went to my head, and I got ahead of myself, and beside myself. So much so, that I put pressure on myself to continue to write post that command that type of response, and to keep the readers interested.&#160; I began to struggle with what to say, and at the same time I had all these feeling swelling up in my, that I thought were not attractive enough, but I needed to get out. But then I realize that not many people really did not care, and I was writting for no one, cause no one was listening. So I need to write for myself. Write what I feel, what I'm struggling with, and what I'm going through.
I am reminded, of something I read about taking advantage of the time you have, not to leave anything to waste. You never know how much time you have in this world, it could all end tomorrow. So, how do you want to be remembered? And what do you want to be remembered for?

Thinking about my pops

First, allow me to say that I know that what I'm about to say may not be well received, and I truly understand that. I would hate to offend anyone, and would like those reading this to understand, that these are my feelings and personal experiences and these things shaped me as the person I hope you all love.
One day, while driving through the city with my cousin sitting in the passenger seat. As we passed a grave yard, he turns to me and ask, "Yo cuzz, do you think they ever run out of room?" I pondered the question for a few seconds, and then responded, " I don't know!". The question made me think of my loved ones who passed away and how it seems that they've become the forgotten over time. Then we began to talk about what it would be like when we die, would anyone care, would they come to the funeral, and how long until we're forgotten. Then the conversation some how changed to the subject of my father and his passing.
Now, I hate to sound cliche-ish, But like most black men I know, I grew up without a father in my life. Life was hard without a father, but I had a small group of friend who share in my lack of there of, and we banded together, and watched over eachother. But, no matter how hard we acted and pretend we didn't need a father it still affected us. I could remember all the other kids fathers hanging around their football and basketball practices, teaching them how to through a football or shoot a basketball. Sitting in the stands at their games cheering on the sons during the games. A feeling unfamiliar to me, but I often thought about how it felt.
I still remember the night we left my father , when moms bounced on old man, in the middle of the night, my mother waking me and we grabbing whatever we can carry and getting into a car and leaving. At the time I had no idea of what really was happening. And as an adult, I know that, my mom was escaping, I was somewhere around 4 yrs old. I'm not saying I didn't know who he was, I knew him, from when I was a really young child, and I can still remember some of those days. I could remember such things as the incredible record collection my father had, sitting in the passenger seat of his Cadillac and listening to "double dutch bus" on 8track with my dad, and which is still one of my favorite songs ever. So even though, I was raised without a father, I still have really good memories of him. As, I got older, I seen less and less of him, until it was almost not at all, but I did see him at my grandma's funeral, then he came to my high school graduation, and he also came to watch me play basketball in college. I was always aware of the struggles mother had to deal with raising two kids without my father around, and not only admired her for that, I looked up too her.  She tried to do some of the things I wanted him there for, and tried hard to teach me to be a man. I think she did a wonderful job. And inspite of all that, she never taught me to hate my father, and if I said anything negative about him she was quick to correct that. I always cherished the things my father told me and the memories I had from my father, I do admit that from time to time, I did become very angery with him for not being there, and from the time when he told me that I was to old to have a relationship with me. I was crushed, devastated. Then not to long ago, my father passed away, he actually was shot protecting a friend. And my family explaining to me that that was how he was, a trait I often find within myself. The unfortunate thing was, that, that side of my family and I were not in contact with eachother, so they had no way tell my mom, sister, and I about that. so when we heard it was weeks later, and when we went to visit the grave site, my family could not aford a grave stone, so we were taking to a general area and told that he was burried somewhere around here! a hard thing to hear, and emotional event to go through. My mother took it especially hard. I could remember thinking that I was really alone, I didn't have a father before and now, I really don't have a father. Then, for those who know, and for those who don't, came my sudden diagnosis of Acromegaly, and my surgery to remove a tumor. And with this came alot of changes to my world. I think about my life now, being that I have acromegaly, and the undeniable effects it has on my life and the uncertainty, I would like to share that with my father, and then there's the thought of my demise and how that would be. if I would, like him, be allowed to lay in a field without a marker so that my loved ones could not find me.
Just a thought.....

Oh well

Today, I've been struggling with my back, as it has been causing me pain for the past two weeks. I tried to find the cause to why I'm in such pain and discomfort, but the truth is I really don't know why. I woke up one morning feeling wonderful and half way through the morning I felt the pain and delt with the struggle to move properly without pain.
I've tried ibuprofen, heat and ice. And all provided a temporary solution to a bigger problem, my back, comfort, and mobility. I'm kind of worried that it might be the something associated with me and the condition of acromegaly. As I have notice this feeling of being bloated and sharp pains in my stomach, a long with pain in my ankles. There's just something that is a little different with me and its just hard to explain it. And now I have this nagging pain in my lower back. On-line there was a mention of Vertebral disc dysfunction, and that could be a scary thing for me cause that a deterioration and progressive structural change to my back and could change a lot for me, enabling be to continue being so active.
I cant get down though, I have to be positive. Maybe, I just tweaked it and I just need to be patient and make sure i use proper posture and I'll be better in no time....

How funny

So, a day ago I was in the gym working out when a lady approach me. She introduce her self and said that her and a friend noticed me, and where talking about my size. And that she told her friend that she was going to ask me about it. Now, I thought to myself, that this was going to be the normal, "how tall are you?" " Do you play basketball?" Questions. And she began talking about my size and how unique it is and and my features and she explained that she is a physician and wonder if I have acromegaly, and wanted to make sure that I have someone helping me. I admit it took me by surprise, but I was not upset that she asked me that. I actually was kinda happy, she could see what a lot of people can't or choose not to. She them went on to explain that, being that I was and adult and the way that medicine was when I was a child and with HMO's it would've been easy for me to slip through the cracks and go unnoticed, and For me making it to adulthood without being diagnosed and treated. It was nice that she noticed.
She then apologized if she offended me, as she hurried of. I wasn't affended, not at all. But, then some guy, sitting a few chairs over began to express that he was offended for me. He said,"how dare she ask you that!" And hoe upset he would've been. But, then proceeds to ask me how tall am I, if I played basketball and that I should be in the pro's. As I thought to myself, "WoW!" And responded, "I'm retired," with a smile on my face.

excuse me

Well, I've been on a bit of a hiatus from the free blog world. In some regards, as an attempt to gather my thoughts and clear my mind of clutter and garbage. And also, to try and determine a direction I want my life to go. I've had a bit of a struggle go on within myself, as I try and find out what truly is important to me and in this world. Many, have their own opinions and beliefs. They'll fight to make theirs yours, and blindly suggest that any opposed thought, or one that does not coincide with there own is blasphemy. And many people have valid points of views and although many I share, I still hear the contradictions and fear that wasted time and effort on such things may distract me from the truth. Many simple talk to much to actually hear the truth and to hear the answer that goes without saying.
Life is truly too short to concern yourself with foolishness, and at the drop of a hat, your life can abruptly and suddenly stop and change. And that to me means that you should be realistic with yourself, and not perpetuate the immoralities and delusions of others just to fit within the parameters of society. Because, if there is one truism, it would be that ,"you came into this world by yourself and that is how you'll leave." And at some point you will be held accountable for the things you were apart of, which could be the final determination of blissfulness or a tormented soul.
I'm sorry for going H.A.M. This is just something I had to get out, and I truly wish all happiness, and peace.
-one

I just want to get this off my chest

Someone posted, "God hears you loud and clear, sometimes we need to be quiet to hear him." As I thought about that, I'm always praying, and my prayers go according to my life. As of lately, I've been praying for a clear mind, or shall I say to think clearly. Because, I feel that if I can quiet the noise I have hear our heavenly father and the message he has for me.
And then, I think about those who I keep as company sometimes. And how often our conversations turn into battles, or debates. And often, they may become so self absorbed, that they're vision becomes clouded and are unable to see the answers to the concerns. Even when the answers are placed right in front of them.
There's plenty of instances, where I feel that the very issue that we complain of, is God's answer to us. It's God's solution, and we are so busy talking and complaining that we are unable to grasp that, and we are not listening so we miss that.
This it just something I was thinking about....

remenising on the past

So... Today, I'm thinking of my journey through life for these past two years, and I'm reminded of the time when I first learned of my affliction, although, I don't perceive it as so. I had a series of unfortunate events, that lead to the discovery of a tumor and ultimately save my life, or at least prolonged it. There was a lot speculation from my doctor, on whether or not I indeed, had the disease made famous by the Late Andre the Giant, and though the thought had been stained in the back of my mind, I  still hadn't realize that this is serious yet. It wasn't until I under went a few test that confirmed the diagnoses of Acromegaly.  He then explained to me, what exactly Acromegaly is, and how it effects my body as well as my health. He also explained that the recommended course of action was to have surgery, because of the size of the tumor and that it threatened my vision, also, that I was experiencing the side effects of the disease a lot quicker than expected. I remember that day clearly, after receiving the news, I left my doctors office. The was out, not a cloud in the sky. I recall the sound of birds chirping, and the world being so nice to me. I felt that everyone, including strangers were overwhelmingly nice to me. Everyone smiling at me, while I try to smile back, all the while, a swarm of emotions ran through me, the thought of the disease and surgery, and what it might mean for me, how I would tell my family, and what my future might be like after it was all done. I had a long time to think about it, as I had taken the the city bus that day, and not only did I have a long walk to the bus stop, I also had a long bus ride home. I don't recall the feeling of fear, and I thought maybe I should, and began wondering if something was wrong with me because I'm not scare. I might've had a brief sensation of worry, but I was pretty calm. By the time I made it home I was at peace with it all. I had rationalize it all in my head. You see, from the time I was a young man til now, who I am was because of this, and the wonderful things I've seen and done wad because of who I am. I had came to terms with it all, and was grateful for it all. I knew, however that I still had to explain it to my mom and my girlfriend, which I felt wouldn't be easy. So, first I explained it to my girlfriend and then my mother, and with both I could since the fear, and worry in the voice and facial expression, but both told me that my calmness and my attitude made it hard for them to panic.
I think the one of the biggest impacts, this situation had on me, was at a friend's party, shortly before my surgery. I'm not really sure what the party was for, but,it seemed like everyone was there. All of his family was there and a lot of friends from our childhood were there. It was a huge event. I remember, shortly into the party it became apparent to me that everyone knew my situation.They all knew that I had this brain tumor, and was having surgery to remove it. I remember feeling that everyone was treating me as if this was the last time they would ever see me again. I remember listening to everyone talking about me as if I was not there, as they all told their "remember when Anthony..." stories, and each person telling me how much the appreciated me and the person I was, as if that was going to end...They were telling me bye. All night, I was getting long embraced hugs, and kisses on the forehead. I felt like the spirit in the room that has yet realized that he's dead. Or that I should be on my death bed, and they all came to my room to share my last moments alive. It was odd and strange, a feeling I really did not like. I then thought that I should write my life down and share my experiences with others so that when I do go my memories lives on, long after.

Just a thought

I'm siting here in front of this computer,and I'm thinking to myself... I'm thinking about life and what it means to me and what it possibly means to everyone else. How is it that certain things become important to others and not to some? And how desperately we try to make the ones closes to us, feel what it is we love. Why do some of us become the most honest people in the world, while others become the most manipulating type of person they can be... What makes you, you... And what makes me, me...
I can attribute a lot of things to the way that we were raised, and the experiences that we have. I can remember specific events in my life that shape a thought process in a positive or negative way. And yet, someone can experience the same exact event and take it, in a completely opposite way.
 I can reduce most of the way I am down to my size and the fact I've been the largest person in my age group since sixth grade. Because of how people per-sieved me and how they reacted towards me. I can remember when I decided that I was not going to take advantage of it. That everything I do was going to be the opposite of what someone, who is a complete stranger would expect of me. And, to my surprise,  I would find out that people who claim to know me, would find my behavior unexpected as well. just a thought...

Well, today is going to be a rough day for me. I did not get hardly any sleep, I laid in bed until 3 a.m. and had to wake up at 5:30 a.m. So, I'm sitting here at work trying to keep my mind occupied. But, there's no doubt that I will make it. I, however, was thinking that I had been slacking on my health just a little bit... I was, as some doctors may call it, non compliant. I haven't been taking my medications and checking my blood pressures as I am suppose to. I just been a little tired, both physically and mentally. I know thats no excuse, I know! It just been getting to me a little. the same thing over and over again. Which none of which is pleasant at all. I often dred it. And today, is my day to get back on track. I'm taking all my medications today,I going to eat right today, and focus on what it is I have to do.

Shrek Has Acromegaly

So.... I had this thought... Well, as you may not know. I spend a lot of time reading up on Acromegaly, and trying to find some new information, and some answers. I sometime look at other people and wonder if they have it, and now I think that a lot of the characters I watched as a kid and most recently on TV have Acromegaly. I also, notice that I have a love for the characters who, are really big and at a first glance seem menacing and terrifying, but once you get to know them, you find that they are gentle and overall good hearted. Character such as Frankenstein, Mighty Joe Young, Lurch from the Adams family. 

This thought, began with Shrek actually. As I look at him and His large stature,. He has all the physical characteristic of Acromegaly..  Which made me think, "Shrek has Acromegaly!" Now, I could be wrong, but bear with me for a minute, and hopefully you'll began to understand why I even began this train of thought.

Living in a world where you look like no one, you have hard any examples to base your existence on. I always took to fantasy and in the back of my mind felt that I was something for a fair tale or and folk lore. I often wonder if after I'm gone will there be story of me and things that I did, and will it become folk lore. And then, I thought if I live in those days. and I who I am now, would most likely one of two people. I could've been the mighty hunter, the guy who goes into the forest and bring the village 50 elk, and or the kills the Lion who has been terrifying the village for days. Or I might've scared the average man, so much so, that I might've been forced to live in the wilderness, alone. There, I would be know as an Ogre. Back then, there was no treatment for Acromegaly, so I would've developed the characteristic of the disease much quickly than now, because there's was no treatment, they how no clue what it was. So, adding to the physical characteristics that I already have, I would also,  have an even wider chin and jaw and tongue, wide fingers and toe, excessive weight gain for no reason, even larger hands and feet, larger bones in the face causing deformities, excessive sweating, and body order. Doesn't that sound like Shrek, or better yet an Ogre. I would become and outcast, I would, most likely live in the woods or a swamp, and because of all this, I would become grouchy, and mean cause no one wants me. My hygiene would be even worst, cause I'm basically camping out for the rest of my life. And people would think its cool to go see the ogre, and that would definitely piss me of so, I would run them off and eventually resort to terrifying people in attempt to keep them away. Legends would build and I would become the Terrifying Ogre, who, eats people and would ever else peoples imagination could muster up. I know it may sound silly, I was just thinking about it and thought I should share it with you!

A convo with my elders

So often, when you have a condition as I have, it becomes easy to focus on the negative and not take notice to the positive. Every little ache or headache can easily become magnified. And frustration can creep upon you quickly.  I have not been feeling well these past two weeks, and when I sat down to write you tonight, I struggle not to say anything negative. But, today I had to much needed and special conversations today. I went to the gym and not feeling well, I struggled to complete my workout. I wanted to quick and just go home. I told my self that I had to finish no matter what. as a matter of fact, and old Jerry West Quote popped into my head, "if you only work hard on the days you feel good, you will not be successful. So, I gathered all I can mustar and finished it. As I was in the locker room, getting to dressed to leave, I was fortunate to have gotten swepted into a conversation, by two older gentlemen. Now, the Trayvon Martin case in still fresh in the minds of a lot of people. And these two brothas where having a conversation about that along with the life and time and the conditions throughout those times that the black man has faced. And I hate to loose you, by bringing up this topic, but from that conversation, and the presents of these men I felt not alone. To break it down, and to provide you with a visual of the seen. there was two men, one of which was in his 70's and the other in his 50's. and these brotha's where talking about that the Trayvon Martin case brought up memories from their childhood. the 70 year old man was from Boston, and talked about it from the perspective of living in one of the first intergrated places on the u.s soil. and seeing troops marching up and down his streets, and blacks living in one neighborhood and whites in another. The man in his 50's was from the L.A. and called account to all the riots and the the military marching his streets as well. He also, talked about the demise of the Black Panther Party, and the original purpose of the crips gang, and void in America for black men due to that. Then there was I, in my 30's reluctant to say anything cause for so long I've been made to feel as if the struggle I faced as a black man in my time frame eould not compare to these brotha's lives. Both of there stories where so... I can't think of words to describe,  and we they asked me of my childhood,  I began with the disclaimer, "I didn't have it as hard as you two. " Both of them said thing haven't really changed for black men and young black men.

I'm back

Today was a good day, I woke up and made myself and my girlfriend some breakfast. I took my medication and vitamins, and did my pushup and situps. I made it to work on time and had a smile on my face too.I contacted an academic counselor about enrolling in school and got some answers to my question, and tomorrow I will have even more. I also, got to see my artwork for these t-shirts I'm making as the start to my business. I even wrote a small post in my journal and writing a small post to my blog. The one thing I didn't do, was go to the gym. So, that will be something I have to make sure I do tomorrow
It was a good day, and thats alll I want to have, and i know its a mind state, and if I 
'm happy and focus on good things in my mind it transition to my physical life... Looking for more good days to come.
_salute!

well, today was and OK day. I got to sleep in today which is always nice, and then I took my medications and vitamins. I when to the optical office to get my glasses fixed and went to my other doctors appointments. I first went to the lab to do a sperm analysis, and when I got to the front desk, there was a pretty girl and I saw her and chickened out. Which I know is silly, I have a girlfriend, who I love very much, so I shouldn't be concerned with that.  But, for some reason I thought about her and anyone knowing what I was doing as embarrassing and I quickly made my exit. I then went to my appointment with my Endocrinologist, and I got to talk to him bit. I explain to him how I felt about my condition, and how I felt about being different. He tried to make me feel better about everything by telling me that, because of my condition, I have the ability to get big and strong, and my size has alot of advantages in life, like sports. He also ask if I had a significant other, and I replied "yes" and he toldme, "see, everything is ok1" and I thought, yeah, I am unique and have been unique all my life. And this confirm it.

So, tomorrow I have an appointment with my Endocrinologist. I'm going to find out how I'm doing, and if my Acromegaly is progressing or if it's in a place of remission. I mean, I feel great... I haven't felt sick, or any aches or pains. I have been having a slight headache from time to time, and  little hoarseness lately. My voice sometime is really deep, which is kinda cool, except that I know its part of the side effects. I do want to ask him some questions, some things I've been struggling with. Like, for example, I'm part of this group Acromegaly community, This is supposed to be an support group for people like me, people with Acromegaly. Yet, most of the people I see don't look like me, they don't look as big as me. And then they have a store, where you can buy clothing with the Acromegaly community writing on it. But, none of it fits me, I thought I found somewhere, where I fit in, finally! But, I still don't fit in, the very place where I should, doesn't even Accommodate me. It brought me back to how I felt all my life, I just want to know if I'm that big, if there's something that makes me different from the rest, and why?
Then later I have to go to the sperm bank and do a Sperm analysis, I need to have my sperm count checked and my fertility, because this condition can effect whether or not I am able to have children, and I need to know for sure. My girlfriend didn't want me to write about this, But, I feel I need to get this off my chest, being that I have no one to talk to, and I have no friend who take interest in anything I say or do anyway. This is my outlet, and if I dont say anything, I'm allowing myself to be cut short, and my growth stunted. Especially, dealing with the thing that I have to deal with on a day to day basis.

My life

Today has started off as a good day so far. I woke up, made breakfast for me and my girl,  some eggs with a big glass of Orange juice. I took my medication and vitamins and loaded my ipod with this new album from an artist name Planet VI, the album is loaded with positive messages. It's playing through my headphones, like a soundtrack to my life. I went to my doctors visit, and it went great! Things are looking good and he made me feel good about life and my situation. Being that I have Acromegaly, there's many complications I have to be aware of. And my health has to be major focus in my life, and because I'm taking that part of my life serious, my doctor says I'm going to be ok. After my doctors visit, I get on the bus a head to work, the sun is out, shining bright, its a beautiful day. It a good day.  I take my time, and try to notice the beauty around me. I am reminded of a conversation, where the observation was, that there isn't any ugly people anymore... And I made the comment that all people have something beautiful about them. As I watched the people entering and exiting the set, and variety of looks and persona's. I then began thinking about life and what to do with it, and being in such a good mood, and my attitude is good, as well, I'm not ready to let anyone change that. Instead, I want to ride it out, plan to continue feeling this way.