Will I ever be a father

I would say, maybe a year ago or more,  I found out that I was unable to have children.  Due to the condition of acromegaly,  and the way it caused the over production of my hormones and at times the fluctuation of the same hormones. My body wasn't functioning properly. My sperm count was low and as I often put it,"my joints don't swim up stream." Now, I've always been a person that did not show a great deal of emotional,  I could have a great tragedy accur in my life and you would not know unless I told you. So, no one close to me knew except a few. I pretended like it didn't bother men. And that i wasn't panicking. I held it together and told myself that I could fix this. I tried things with the aide of my doctor,  but could hep but feel an accumulation of emotions snd personal feeling about the situation. It did not help that friends and family where having children all around me.  I began wondering weather or not I was even fit to be a parent, and then wondering why those who abuse children continued to have children and I'm unable to have one. At one point, my thoughts got so deep, I thought about the function of life and how its main function is to reproduce and the mere fact that I was unable to meant that I am something that my not belong in nature and because so, I am unable to reproduce,  my bloodline is unable to go on.
I use to have this fear, that I would be one of those men who would always be alone. I would never be married or have children, two things I very much wanted and wanted to be apart of. I often thought how I would raise my children and model my family after the Cosby show. I often thought about how I would teach my children about their culture and life in general. Also how I would react to there friends and boyfriends and girlfriends.  I often look at my friends and their relationships with there children and what I thought was good and what I thought wasn't. And how I would apply them to raise my child.
I often worry that, because I am unable to have children will Tiqua no longer want to be with me. And that she may decide to go find someone else.
As I consult my doctor on what it is I should do, and I'm reading and doing my own research on what I can do naturally. I'm trying to change my mind state,  and only allow positive vibes and thougghts in. I talk to myself as if I already have a child, as though I'm already a father. I'm eating right, and exercising. I prayed about it and left it in gods hands and taken the worry and fear out of it.