Accomplishing goals

As I try and discover and rediscover myself and my dreams, my strengths, my gifts,  my purpose. I'm going to do the I do as a child that brought me joy. Today's goal,  "draw something"

Today

As i get ready to settle in for the night, and i reflect of the day. I accomplished my first day with a limited amount od sugar,  that was basically all fruit and a beautiful salad of fresh raw vegetables.  And i washed it all down with mango andnginger water.
I, however,  have been dealing with alot of pain in my foot. The pain seems to be located in the joint where my big toe connects to my foot. I'm wondering if its a acromegaly thing being that its a joint and i honesty didn't do anything to cause it.
I am alittle worried because i am trying to get a new job, and this job depends alot on me being able to run and work out and as of right now, i really can't do so.
But,  I'm going to remain positive and remember that something wonderful is going to happen to me soon. I just have to think positively and keep working at it.

Finding my purpose

Often, I sit around and think of the decisions I've made throughout my life and how they have effected where I am today and how those decisions are the soul reason why I am where I am today.  I chose this!  It's a bit confusing and a bit disheartening at the same time. On one hand I have a beautiful fiance and daughter, that I wouldn't change for the world. I feel as though there are ment to be part of my life, and my life up to now was preparation for my fiance and daughter. Then on the other I have no clue on my life's Mission or purpose,  I don't know how to look or where to begin to find it! I pray about it everyday, but I can't help but think that maybe I'm praying the wrong way or that there's something in my current state of life that I need to learn first. I wish I knew.
I'm currently reading a book called, "the purpose driven life," because i heardnwonderful things about it and it also was sugested to me as a way to find the answers I'm looking for. Todays chapter was centered around how you see your life and how you see your life can say alot about you, and then it went on to say how the bible says that life is a test. It reminded me of my childhood, we didn't have awhole lot, in fact we were poor. But my mother made the most of it. My step father became a crack head and it made it worse, being that the little we did have, he would sale to by crack. But during those times, I use to tell my self that god was using this life to test me, and to prepare me for my future,  God was making it hard for me now, so that in the future I would be able to appreciate what was in store for me. I think I lost that, I think I need to rediscover that mentality.  

Melon explosion my breakfast this morning

Feeling some kind of way

It's been awhile since I last posted anything. I've been enjoying my new baby girl and trying to change my life at the same time. Realizing that it's pretty difficult to change things and mostly on the part of others. It the other people who seem to trip you up and place road blocks in your path to what it is you desire. Yes, I do have fault in my own life, and I often sit and think. .. if only would have done this instead of this.... or, if I would've known.... or if I would have made my mind up along time ago to do this..... and then I think of what someone told me, there is no such thing as a could've, would've,  should've.  If so, that's what would've,  could've, and should've happened. And it's my job to take those events of my life and put them in order,  and try and make send of them.
And so looking back upon my life I'm realizing that it all was preparation for now, today,  and the wonderful life that is presented to me. And that I am, not just blessed,  but I'm honored to have a wonderful finance and a extremely beautiful baby. And I should not squander another moment of life with missed opportunities.