1st entry

So, I'm starting to recognize that I'm not normal and never will be. I've always been a large man, i stand 6, 11" and weight 331lbs. and yes i did play basketball, for the university of Massachusetts. as a kid i thought that was what i was going to do for the rest of my life, and maybe i would've, but at the age of 25, i had this idea that maybe basketball wasn't my calling, and chose to pursue a medical career. Now, it seemed that Id found my knack. I'm good at what i do, and i have to passions for it. but, at times i have to admit that i feel stagnate, and under appreciated, you see, i planned on being in medical school right now, but paying for school out of pocket make it hard, having to work 48 and 50 hours a week makes it even harder, and then there a new discovery that occur last year, that brought everything to a screeching Holt. you see, i was diagnose with a rare disease called acromegaly. this is a condition where a tumor develops on the pituitary gland that is located at the base of the brain. this tumor is not cancerous, it cause you pituitary gland to make more growth hormone, which make you grow taller and bigger. sometimes, when I'm out in public, and people ask me," how did you get so tall," in my Arnold voice, I want to say," it was a tumor." sorry, bad humor......
so, on November 1st, i had brain surgery to have the tumor removed. and i thought everything thing was great. I thought. you see this new information about my health, i had to make some changes within my self. and in doing so, i lost a lot of friends, and life began kind of lonely for me. there was no one around with whom i can share things with and have them relate to it. many people try, and applaud them for it, but for the most part its better to just to keep thing to myself. A couple of changes where with my health. I used to smoke cigars on a regular basis, and found that i could no longer enjoy a fine cigar, not if I want to live. i had to change eating habits, and start going to the gym. the sad thing about that, I lost friends over that. I guess that, since i no longer wanted to participate in self destructive activities then i was no longer fun to around. And with this discovery thing hat i already knew became more apparent and a little frustrating. i was online looking for people just like me, people whom i could relate to, and i found one support group and they shard a lot of good info, but none of them looked like me, and they also had an online store, and non of their clothing fit me except a t-shirt. that really hurt my feelings.
Now, i just met with one of my doctors and he told me that this disease is coming back, now i read up on Acromegaly or giganticism everyday, and kind of figured it would. but, to actually have someone tell you that you have this rare disease to your face is another thing all in its self. this disease is so rare that theres not even a clear cut procedure in treating it, theres a lack of info on the subject, i just know that whoever has it has it for life.