I'm reminded of a short story i read as a child, the story told of a man who went blind. A talented man who did not take advantage of his talents and artistic abilities. The talk of forgetting what the sky look like, or what shade of green were the trees. Basically not paying any attention to the world around, and now that he is blind its two late. This man related his blindness to the parable about the talents, you see, in the parable, a man is going away and sommons his most trusted slaves. He gives the first slave 5 talents, the next slave 2 talents, and the last slave 1 talent. Each according to their abilities.The one he gave 5, went to work right away, and double the value of his money, and the other who recieved 2 talents did the same and gain 2 more. But, the slave who have recieved one talent dugg a whole in the ground and hide the talent. When the master returnd, the slave with 5 talents brought him ten nd he was rewarded with many thing and was able to enter into the masters house, the slave that had 2 talents brought the master 2 more, and was rewarded with many things and was allowed to enter into the masters house.But, the slave that had one talent told the master that because you are hard man, who reap where you do not sow I was afriad and barried your money so that your one is safe and you get back what is your. The master called him evil and lazy and threw him out, then gave his talent to the one who had 10. he then, believed that the moral of the story was, do not hide your talents. Don't be affraid to share them with the world, you don't know what rewards may await you.
I thought of this, because, i always became the blind man in a sense. I surely went a form of depression when my dream of playing basketball wasnt a realllity, and began drinking and smoking and not caring about myself. I, later tried to correct these behaaviors, but as you know some habit die hard and real hard. so smoking cigars and sometime weed was the hardiest thing to shake. I finally, shook the week but still had a problem with the cigars. And I was smoking black 'n' mild's like they were cigarettes. It was a really bad habit, i could remenber saying to myself that I wasn't goign to smoke today, and before I knew it I went to the store and was half way through one cigar before I realized that I was smoking.
I began to not enjoy life, caus eeverything was based around me smoking. But, it's funny how things work. I wrote down some goal for myself and the first was to stop smoking, and immediately afer that, I hurt my back at work. So, when went to the doctor I had really high blood pressure, I got really sick. I began to have heart problems, I had to were a heart monitor. My doctor wanted to know why I was having these issues, and all my test were negative, my heart was fine, my kidney's were fine, and my liver was fine. Then he found that my body was producing an excessive amount of grown hermone. So he order x-rays, cat scans, and mri's. And there it was the tumor.
So, the got a great team of doctors together, created a plan. Now, it turned out that I was living with lot for years, that made me misserable, and I didnt know that I was misserable. So, I need two surgeries, one two fix my nose and clean out an infection that also was threatening my survival, and the other two remove this tumor. They performed the first surgery and it was a success. But, one night, while awaiting for the day of my secound surger, I woke up in the middle of the night, with a mouth full, choking on my own blood. I was bleen and my girlfriend, who was there through everything and did not leave my side. rushed me to the emergency room where I bled for 3 hour as the worked to stop it. the doctors, nurses, and tech all hovered around me shoving things in my nose. I thought that I was going to bleed to death, and I was misserable in a lot of pain, and wanted to go to sleep.
I was taken in to the operating room for emergency surgery to stop the bleeding. and then a week later I had the tumor removal surgery. Later, I determined that I needed to make some lifestyle changes, and my motivation was living. I could go back to smoking blunts, and drinking all kinds of alcohol and die. Or, I could take care of myself and live. So, in doing so I rediscovered the world. I could hear he birds singing again, smell the fresh air, and see all the beautiful shades of green that the trees are. I can be the more cause I'm no longer hiding my talents.
Peace
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